Best Ways for Parents to Keep a Marriage Going
Making Time for Romance While Balancing Family Life
Nov 9, 2009
These days parents are busy juggling careers and kids and the romance that brought them together can get lost in all that rushing around. Parents who feel connected with each other are more likely to have successful family lives. So it’s important to keep the love alive. Here are some tips to help parents put the passion back into their partnership.
Make a Commitment to Show Love Every Day
Of course when kids are young and there is a baby in the house it can be hard to get some alone time with the spouse. But, it is doable. Squeeze in a backrub for a husband or wife before falling asleep exhausted on the bed together. Write a simple love note and tack it somewhere he or she will see it, for instance on a mirror or a coffee mug. Turn on a favorite slow song and grab the partner for a quick dance. Not only are these great fun ways to express affection to a loved one, it’s great for kids to see the love parents have for each other.
Establish Partner Time as Part of the Family Routine
When the kids are old enough, have some set alone time in the house during the week. One idea is to get a ”Do Not Disturb” sign to hang on the door for part of Saturday morning. Or after the kids go to bed, have a candlelight dessert and wine together. If the kids want attention during this time, point out that it is “Parents' Romantic Time.” Get all kissy-kissy and that should scare them away!
Talk to Kids About Parents Alone Time
If this is a new concept for kids, talk to them about the importance of parents spending time alone together. Explain to them that just like they like to spend time with their best friends, it is important for parents to spend special moments together too. Talk to kids about how relationships require time and work. Explain that just as how important parents' relationship with their kids are, so is their relationship with each other.
Parents Need to Go Out for a Date Night
Say “no!’ to the excuses and “yes!” to making a date night happen. If getting a babysitter is too expensive, see if a friend or family member can babysit the kids. Go out to dinner, watch a movie, go dancing or experience other fun events happening in town. Having a date night at least once a month is a great way to help nourish a marriage. It gives parents time on their own to focus on each other only and rekindle their connection, something that benefits everyone in the family.
Parents Can Share a Hobby or Activity Together
Another way to stay connected is to share a hobby or activity together on a regular basis like once a week. This can be informal at home activities like playing crib together with hot cocoa, working in the garden together or doing yoga. It can also be something more formal and organized like getting ballroom dancing lessons, signing up to train for a five-kilometer run together or taking skydiving lessons together.
Parents Should Go to Bed Together
Sometimes husbands and wives have different work schedules, but whenever possible it’s important to go to bed together. Turn off the TV and resist staying up late. Instead, try to go to be earlier than usual so there is some time for talking, snuggling and physical intimacy.
A happy marriage helps set a positive tone for the rest of the family, so it is important for parents to make time for each other. Do little things every day to show affection, have “parents alone time” at home, go out for date nights, enjoy a hobby together and go to bed together.
Check out Parents Need Me Time, Balancing Marriage and Baby and the Importance of Marriage to a Happy Family.
References:
Eisenberg, Arlene; Murkoff, Heidi; and Hathaway, Sandee. What to Expect the First Year. New York, New York: Workman Publishing, 1996.
Schafer, Alyson. Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every Modern Mom’s Guide to Getting Past Perfection, Regaining Sanity, and Raising Great Kids. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada, 2007
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