It often starts with a feeling, such as a day-after-Christmas feeling. It's the squash of too much stuff – stuff that will probably be forgotten by Valentine's Day.
In recent years that feeling has led many parents to make a change in the way their families consume. They have made a conscious choice to selectively monitor what comes into their homes – not only the physical things, but the huge number of television and other advertising messages directed towards children.
And there are a lot of them.
Marketing to the Smallest Consumers
Experts say that about $17 billion per year is spent on marketing straight to kids.
In her book Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture [Scribner, 2004] Juliet Schor writes: "This relentless assault on children’s psyches is not good for them. Research suggests that aggressive marketing to kids contributes not only to excessive materialism, but also to a host of psychological and behavioral problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, childhood obesity, eating disorders, increased violence, and family stress."
The not-for-profit organization New American Dream is based on the idea that excess consumption undermines family values. It not only raises awareness about the ways children are being marketed to directly, it also offers tips on simple living, conscious consumerism and even a brochure on “Parenting in a Commercial Culture.” The site also offers an “alternative gift registry” function and a chance to connect with other families who want to cut back.
Happy Uncommercial Holidays?
For many families this issue is most prevalant around Christmas and the winter holidays, children’s birthdays and even “minor” gift-giving holidays such as Easter, Valentine’s Day and Halloween. It can be challenging to explain to well-meaning relatives and friends the choice to live without Barbie, SpongeBob or Hannah Montana. And it can be even harder to tackle the issue of quantity.
Many parents feel that the “too much” syndrome will lead kids to feel entitled, bored or just generally unappreciative. But how to explain this to grandparents believe their own children led a “full” childhood?
It helps if the parents and kids are on the same page. Very young children often appreciate one small toy as much as a huge pile of stuff, but for help talking to older children, Media Awareness Network, which studies media messages aimed at children and teens, offers tips and info sheets.
And when you have to bring up the issue to loving family and friends? Mothering.com suggests writing a gift letter and requesting alternatives to things such as classes, time together and even donations in a child’s name to a cause the child supports.
A New Family Value
It can be challenging for many families to make a switch to living a simpler life. If your children are older or your family’s gift-giving traditions are deeply engrained, it can take time and patience to make your household less commercial. Some ideas to try:
- Turn off the television, or switch to non-commercial television. Choose movies carefully.
- Talk to your children. Explain each day about why you feel it is important to cut back on stuff. Don’t just save “the talk” for a week before Christmas.
- Write thank you notes and involve your children in the process. When they are old enough, teach them to write their own.
- Start a family gratitude journal, listing your many (non-material) blessings.
- Look for like-minded parents. Look for groups in your community that believe in cutting back. Go online for forums and chats.
- Take it one day at a time. Dollar stores will continue to tempt and kids will still want a new toy for those few moments of satisfaction (Mom and dad too!) Remember why you are saying no.
In a culture where children are seen as consumers almost from birth, it can seem overwhelming to fight the trend. But more and more families are making the choice to live a less “stuffed” life and are raising a generation of children who will be ready to fight back as well.
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