Can Helicopter Parents Affect Social Development
When Do Protective Parents Become Overprotective Parents
Nov 27, 2008
The term helicopter parents was coined in the 1990s to describe parents who pay particularly close attention to their child’s or children’s life. The helicopter parents’ reach is all encompassing, leading to their being involved in all experiences, decisions, opportunities and problems in their children’s lives.
During the early part of the 2000s, this parenting style has become particularly prevalent with baby boomers and their generation Y children. They try to prevent any harm or negative circumstances affecting their children. This has led to speculation that later in life, these children will be unable to effectively learn from their mistakes and make appropriate choices.
Types of Helicopter Parents
According to Paul Redmond of The Guardian, there are five key types of helicopter parent:
- The Agent – fixes deals, arranges contracts, smoothes out local difficulties. It's the Agent's job to represent his or her child.
- The Banker – completely accessible whether online, face to face or via personal hotline, whenever needed. The Banker asks few if any questions and is inclined to say "yes" no matter how illogical or poorly articulated the request. The Banker is also resigned to never seeing loans repaid.
- The White Knight – the White Knight parent appears at little to no notice to resolve awkward situations.
- The Bodyguard – primary function is to protect the child from a range of embarrassing social situations.
- The Black Hawk – named after the military helicopter, the Black Hawk is unique among helicopter parents due to their willingness to go to any lengths – legal or illegal – to give their offspring a positional advantage over any competition.
Effect of Helicopter Parents On Their Children
Dr. Mel Levine addresses the affects of helicopter parents on young adults in his book, Ready or Not, Here Life Comes [Simon & Schuster, 2006]. In particular, he discusses what he refers to as an “epidemic of work-life unreadiness.” One main group he highlights are those that are “too accustomed to having their activities explicitly spelled out and scheduled for them and as a result are having trouble making their own significant decisions.”
Technology today has made this parenting behaviour even easier ... cell phones, e-mail, instant messaging all lead to increased communication. Parents and their offspring can check in whenever they want, from wherever they want. Initially, parents hovered around their children during all their schooling and this has now progressed to university and workplaces. Parents have become so involved in their children’s choices at university that many institutions have implemented "family liaison officers."
While parents need to be involved in their children’s lives, involved with their performance in school and active in helping to prevent problems, letting them be free to learn about life on their own is still important. As most would agree, some of the greatest knowledge is gained from the mistakes one has made. Being able to foster independence while providing necessary guidance is one of the greatest challenges faced by parents, and balancing this is where helicopter parents particularly fail.
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