The Importance of a Healthy Marriage for Family

Children Learn from Parents Relationship With Each Other

Oct 23, 2009

Parents work hard to do their best for their kids, but sometimes their marriage gets the backseat, yet, having a loving marriage provides important life lessons for kids.

Many parents feel that all their energies should go into meeting the needs of their children, and this can sometimes mean a marriage ends up getting neglected. Not only can this be detrimental for the couple, it can be so for the whole family. Read on to find out why a healthy marriage is important for everybody in the family.

Good Marital Relations Teach Children How to Love and Respect Others

Watching how parents interact with each other can be an excellent opportunity for children to learn how to respect and love others. Children learn best from parents by observing their actions, not being told what to do. So, if they see respectful and kind relations between parents they will be more likely to emulate the same behavior in their own relationships with others. But the reverse can also be true, if there are a lot of troubled communications or even lack of communication between parents, this also is sending a message to children for how to interact with others.

Role Model What a Healthy Relationship is for Children

Kids should see their parents laughing, holding hands and sharing meaningful and loving moments with each other. If parents hope their kids grow up to have good relationships and families, then the best thing to do now is to put time and effort into their own marriage. If that means saving up for a babysitter for a date night, reading marriages books or going to counseling, then do so. Parents will not only be investing in their own marital health, but their children’s as well.

Conflict in a Marriage is Normal

Many people think that conflict in a marriage is a bad thing, but it is actually part and parcel of any long-term relationship. The key is how parents deal with their disagreements. It’s important for kids to see that people don’t always see things eye to eye, and even more important for them to see that despite this people can work things out and still remain close. Teaching children how to resolve conflict by doing so in a healthy manner between husband and wife will be a life lesson they take to their own relationships.

Making Mistakes and Saying Sorry

No one is perfect, including parents and it is good for children to see this. Sometimes people say and do things to their loves ones that they regret later. Instead of sweeping it under the carpet and pretending it didn’t happen or even worse, holding a longtime grudge, parents instead want to role model to children how to express hurt feelings and how to say a heartfelt “I am sorry” between husband and wife. By showing kids to take ownership over mistakes and how to be forgiving, it makes it easier for children to take responsibility for their mistakes and to forgive others.

Parents teach their children by what they do, and their marriage gives kids a front row seat for observing how two people who love each other should interact, love and respect each other. Role model what a healthy relationship is, and if there are serious problems in a marriage, then address them.

Parents wish for their kids to have good marriages and relationships when they get older, and one of the easiest ways to help with this is to work on making this a reality in their own marriage. Conflict is part on any relationship, including marriage, and the important thing is to show kids that differences can be worked out in a caring and healthy manner. Remember too, that even with the best intentions, spouses can hurt each other and the key is to take responsibility for mistakes and to make heartfelt efforts to make amends.

Eisenberg, Arlene; Murkoff, Heidi; and Hathaway, Sandee. What to Expect the First Year. New York, New York: Workman Publishing, 1996.

Schafer, Alyson. Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every Modern Mom’s Guide to Getting Past Perfection, Regaining Sanity, and Raising Great Kids. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada, 2007

The copyright of the article The Importance of a Healthy Marriage for Family in Ethics & Parenting is owned by Tamiko Nicholson. Permission to republish The Importance of a Healthy Marriage for Family in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.