Why Self-Care is Important for Moms and Dads

Parents Who Take Care of Themselves are Taking Care of Their Family

Jul 22, 2009

Happy parents are essential for a happy family. Here are some reasons outlining why it's key for parents to make sure their needs are met too.

Parents often feel pressure to give so much to their children that they forget to take care of their own needs. But giving too much can burn parents out and make them less able to parent as effectively as they could. Many may feel that they are not being good parents if they don’t max themselves out. They can feel that time spent on themselves is selfish, but ironically, doing so can help make them better parents.

Parents Who Take Care of Themselves are Healthier

Being constantly stressed out is not healthy. It can lead to high blood pressure and a greater risk for heart disease. A parent who does not take care of herself is also more likely to get sick because her immune system is down. As well, people who are mentally and physically pushed to their limits are more likely to be in accidents. It makes sense that ill or injured parents will have more difficulty parenting than those who are well and healthy.

To Give Children the Best, Parents Should be at Their Best

Self-care does not just mean going to the spa or working out. A parent needs to think about what makes her happy and incorporate her passion into her life. She might not know what it is, and that could require counselling, self-help books or life coaching. Each person is different. For one mother it could mean getting a part-time job instead of staying home full-time. For another it could mean cutting back hours at work or taking guitar lessons.

A parent needs to truly ask herself what she wants out of life, and not go by what other people have to say or what she thinks society will say about her decision. A mother who feels fulfilled in her own life will be better at helping her children find their way in life as well.

Happy Parents Create an Atmosphere of Happiness

If parents are cranky, grouchy and short with each other, those emotions and actions will spill over to their children. On the other hand, if parents are feeling content, positive and loving, then it will be an upbeat mood that affects everyone in the home. A manager of a company sets the tone for how the organization will work, and her actions or inactions filter down and affect everyone. The same goes for parents in their "company".

A Parent Sets the Example for Kids

If a parent does not set her boundaries to take time out for herself, what is she teaching her children? Ideally, a parent wants children who are helpful, but also know how to look out for themselves and not be taken advantage of.

Particularly for women, it’s important to think about the actions they take. Do they want their kids to marry women who are stressed and burned out? Do they want their daughters to become unhealthy martyrs in the name of being a good mother? Role model self-care, living one’s passions and being happy so children can follow in the right footsteps.

A Parent is Better Being Proactive Than Reactive

When parents are tired and stressed, they are not able to think and act as quickly or creatively. They are more likely to fall into bad habits and react to situations without thought. This usually means responding in ways they did in the past in family situations, and many of these knee-jerk reactions can be unhealthy.

Parenting positively requires conscious thinking, energy and vision, all of which are hard if a parent feels she is treading water and can barely keep her head above the stress and tiredness that surround her. Make time for personal time, cut back on the load of responsibilities and incorporate activities that bring passion and happiness into a parent’s life.

It’s important for parents to look after themselves so that they can be healthy and give to their kids in the best way that they can. Parents who have their needs met are able to create a happier home, set a positive example for their children about how a parent should be and have a more proactive approach to parenting instead of a reactive approach.

References: Schafer, Alyson. Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every Modern Mom’s Guide to Getting Past Perfection, Regaining Sanity, and Raising Great Kids. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada, 2007.

The copyright of the article Why Self-Care is Important for Moms and Dads in Ethics & Parenting is owned by Tamiko Nicholson. Permission to republish Why Self-Care is Important for Moms and Dads in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.